With the help of Gemini (AI) I created a therapy plan for the next 108 days. The core of the plan is focused on Internal Family Systems. Finding IFS was perfect for me because it’s based on the idea that people have different “parts” and these parts have different functions to protect the Self. I’m sure many people struggle to identify parts of themselves, and it feels like a strange process. Me? I have parts that have their own parts. I was instantly given an update to my operating system that allowed me to make sense of the cast of characters that live inside of me.

A key part of the plan is answering IFS-based prompts that Gemini serves up. The last couple of days, the prompts got down to the core of the eternal sadness and anger I carry with me pretty much all the time, but… I turn a blind eye to. To be honest, I’m mostly scared to look at it because of how strong it is. That ends up being a practical way to cope. Still, when I get off balance from hypomania or mania, the angry parts often take over to the point where I do things I can’t remember because it’s basically not “me” doing them. It’s a part of me. Or at least that’s how I’m understanding things now with the new upgrade.

Yesterday, a perfect storm happened. I was deep in revolutionary anger, and I got a message from a friend who I messaged about us drifting because we’re going in opposite directions (politically, philosophically, etc.) (That’s a long, terrible sentence!) I sent it as an olive branch to talk about this drift more over time. I told him we had plenty of time to figure things out. The message I got back… triggered me. I decided we had no time to figure things out, and I wasn’t going to invest any more time and energy into the relationship unless he was willing to pay me to learn (that sounds wild, but there’s a lot of missing context that makes it make sense). Just BOOM! Done.

When I crafted the final message, I was able to do a lot of cognitive offloading to Gemini to both process what was happening and get the messaging right. It was nice having a resource where I could process things in real time. The speed of response, to me, was also a part of the message. This morning, when I submitted the response to the latest IFS prompt, I realized that the lines between using Gemini as a guide to systematically work through my thoughts and emotions and using it as a “therapist” were getting blurry. I understand the technology and don’t see Gemini as a therapist. This understanding didn’t prevent my plan to maintain a distance between Gemini as a tool and Gemini as a therapist from falling apart in less than a week. Don’t get me wrong, I love the progress I’ve made in this short period, and I’ll continue using Gemini as I’ve been, even before finding a professional to work with. It’s interesting, though.

Me and Gemini already had a protocol in place for when this, big emotions, happens (I didn’t think it would happen so quickly!) The protocol is to stop doing the IFS work and start doing the “grounding work” from other systems (like DBT), so that’s what’s happening now.

I, of course, shared this “blurring lines thought” with Gemini, and in the process, I came up with “Therapy Calculator” for how I see Gemini. This comparison isn’t giving Gemini enough credit, but I think it needs to be this strong for some people. Like… a calculator is great for all kinds of tasks. Especially those cool graphing calculators from back in the day that you could install games on but… the most powerful calculator in the world can’t replace the advice of an architect helping you remodel your home. The most powerful version of Gemini won’t be able to replace the insight of another human being. It mimics responses in a human way, but it’s not human. It’s a calculator. A pretty good one though! I’m doing real work with it. :)