“Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I can’t recall when I first ran into this quote but it’s been a foundation of how I’ve lived life, a grand experiment. The character miltownkid is a direct product of that kind of thinking. An experiment. I must admit, it’s extremely hard to be objective when acting as both the experimenter and experimentee. I would even go so far as to say it is totally impossible. 🙂
The interesting thing about creating and acting like a character is that it becomes a part of you. Perhaps further, it becomes you. Much of miltownkid is what I would define as being “me” but, somewhat paradoxically, a lot of miltownkid is what I would also define as not “me”. How then do I draw a line between where miltownkid ends and “I” begin?
Having spent the majority of the last 15 years walking the miltownkid walk and talking the miltownkid talk has had the unintended effect of thinking the miltownkid thought. If I can’t lay claim to my thoughts, who or what am I?
While thinking the miltownkid thoughts “I” came to the conclusion that just as miltownkid is an elaborate story created be “me”, “I” (Casey Abbott Payne) too am an elaborate story created by not me. Casey Abbott Payne is just an elaborate fiction supported by an even more elaborate fiction of what people like to call reality. miltownkid was created at an interesting period of time in which new alternate realities could be completely, and independently, created digitally which would have real and lasting effects in physical realities. These two spaces fed on each other, boosting what was originally fiction into, what people like to call, reality (and vice versa).
When did miltownkid become “real”? When the idea of the name first came to mind? When I created the hotmail account 15 years ago? When I signed up for my first discussion forum and made my first post 14 years ago? When I registered the domain [miltownkids.com] 13 years ago? When I registered the domain [miltownkid.com] and started the blog 11 years ago? When I started my YouTube account and [created a viral video] (another experiment) 9 years ago? When I decided to create a group of digital internet assassin’s (another experiment) called [the MilTownKlan] 7 years ago? Was it when [miltownkid decided to kill off Casey Abbott Payne] 3 years ago? Is miltownkid real? What makes something real?
Somewhere along that chain of events more people knew me as miltownkid than Casey (Abbott Payne) and eventually miltownkid, the character and life experimenter extraordinaire, decided to take the experiment to the ultimate conclusion, making miltownkid the “real” (legal entity) and Casey Abbott Payne the illusion.
Now, “I” am going to borrow the illusion/reality of Casey Abbott Payne. Make him the character that reflects on the life of miltownkid, the life previous to miltownkid and the co-author of the next chapter of life using the trail of notes left by miltownkid.*
This is just the setup for a series of posts. I’m going to go through the digital archives of miltownkid and reflect on sections of time. These slices of time will, at times, be bundled in years and will, at times, be bundled in months or perhaps even weeks. They will all eventually be chronologically ordered right here:
- Placeholder for blog post that doesn’t yet exist.
*miltownkid will also co-author the next chapter of life using the experiences of miltownkid. 😉