Cycle 9 Dream+Flow: So It Begins

This 108 feels super special. It’s been 12 cycles (4 years) in the making. Something that I hoped would happen from this 108-day experiment finally did. I have my ONE THING. The thing that I’ll be focused on for many many many 108s going forward. That thing is… the 108s aka Flow to Your Dream. In Cycle 4 I asked myself “If only one of these three things, Being Bipolar (a start up), Black Horse Tai Chi, and Flow to Your Dream, could exist in their fullest manifestation, which one would I choose?” The answer came to me immediately. Flow to Your Dream. I thought Cycle 5 would have been the beginning but God/the universe had a different plan for me. Cycle 6, 7, and 8 were about recovery from Cycle 5’s manic episode. Here we are at Cycle 9. So it begins.


Dream: Create a Product One Year Flow to Your Dream Master Class (maybe)

I currently have two things in mind, but things could change. The first is writing a book. The second is creating a yearlong 108 based cohort. The yearlong 108 based cohort would essentially be signing people up to participate in three consecutive 108-day cycles.

I wrote the first draft of a book. The writing process brought clarity to a lot of things I need to work on myself before I release a book. Now that I’m thinking about it I suppose, of these two ideas, the 108 “master class” makes more sense. I’ll adjust the title.


  • Spend at least 1 hour and 8 minutes working on this each day (ideally more)

I’m leaving this pretty open ended but “work” could be writing, reading, watching videos, listening to podcasts or books, working through a class of some kind, or maybe even working on the book as it provided so much insight already and it might have more secrets to share with me.

Something else I’m doing in connection to this dream is tracking the money coming in and going out from my 108 endeavors. There will be a separate blog post covering this at the end of the cycle.

Dream: Have Deep Conversations with Myself

I have a lot of things to unpack. I didn’t fully retire miltownkid ZEE (my old persona) until the last cycle. Back in 2015 I created a new persona, Casey Abbott Payne, to help with disconnecting from mtk. Neither one of them fully embodied myself and they were never supposed to. mtk was a freak accident from doing psychological experiments on myself coupled with the rise of digital/social media. CAP was designed to be a counter balance to mtk, not a permanent replacement. When I moved into my new space at the end of the last cycle I decided not to bring out any of the CAP artifacts (I had already put away the mtk stuff).

It’s time to sift through these two personas and see what remains.


  • Pen and paper journaling every day.
  • Review old journals, personal development plans, and digital media
  • Maybe: Produce a blog post about the main takeaways every 12 days
  • Maybe: Produce a profile for mtk and CAP
  • Maybe: Produce podcast episodes about the transformation
  • Maybe: Restart therapy

I want to, at the bare minimum, get a lot of things out of my system through pen and paper writing. I would like to capture any insights I get from this process into something more organized and, if possible, something worth sharing.

Dream: Investigate the Void and Don’t Fear Being Full of Shit

While writing the synopses for my 108s I gleaned something deeply insightful. I was studying “The Secret of the Golden Flower” during Cycle 3 and doing daily 1 hour and 8 minute meditations. After almost two months I stopped doing it because I ran into this feeling of “void”. I started feeling disconnected to who I was and what I was doing. Looking back on that I realized that I started to see how much of who I was and what I was doing was “full of shit”. It’s pretty easy to say to yourself “We’re all full of shit!” and then dive back into whatever bullshit you’re up to. It’s different when you sit for an hour a day and realize that all of the thoughts passing through you are… bullshit.

I want to restart that quest and go 108 days straight with meditating for 1:08. I think I’m mentally prepared to run into the “void” sensation I ran into last time. I’m also much more mentally stable having shed the bullshit around not one, but two personas.


  • Meditate for 1:08 for 108 days
  • Study “The Secret of the Golden Flower”

Dream: Check In for 108 Days Straight

There are a few things I want to check in on EVERY SINGLE DAY for the 108 days without missing a single day.

  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Working on my master class
  • Using my habit app and checking in with a screenshot in the 108 Facebook group
  • Tracking my intermittent fasting
  • Checking in in my Yen community
  • Posting my update to Instagram

This is pretty straight forward. I just do these things every day. If you want to know what I’m checking off on the habit app every day take a look at the “My Flow” page.

Dream: Rehabilitate My Hip

When this 108 is finished I will have had an injured hip for almost a year. “Rehabilitate” might end up meaning “rest”, but I’m going to actively look for more solutions to speed up the healing process. This could be physical therapy exercises, seeing a more specialized doctor, tai chi, etc. My hip is pretty angry right now, but it’s mostly because I had to overwork it to finish moving.


  • A daily healthy exercise routine that rejuvenates my hip.

Dream: Cook One Meal a Week


  • Do meal planning on the weekend
  • Cook one meal a week.

This dream is sponsored by Magda. Lol

Updates in the comments:

Something I’ve thought about doing is updating this document along the way if I need to make adjustments because of life or if things aren’t working out the way I thought they would. I’ll post these changes to the comment section below.

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