Cycle 8 Story: I Wasn’t Crazy

I really only had one lame ass Dream for Cycle 8. “Don’t be crazy.” I’m happy to report that I wasn’t crazy.

Instead of doing a point by point breakdown I’m just going to let some words flow.

I never sat down and made a plan for the last cycle. The day before the cycle began I just came up with a bunch of routines and goals out of thin air. I did everything flawlessly for 39 days. I was even able to pivot from swimming to biking when COVID hit Taiwan and the pools closed. The reason things stopped on Day 39 is because on Day 40 I was preparing to do a courier job to LA and when I got back from the job I had to do 14 days of quarantining.

This was my third time quarantining so I had some experience to guide me. The previous two quarantines were totally unproductive. The first time I thought I was going to be productive and wasn’t. The second time I didn’t even try to be productive. This time I decided I was going to be productive but I knew what I had to do to make that happen. I made quarantine based routines and when quarantine was over I had the first draft of a book.

When I got out of quarantine I was going to go right back to my biking routine but I happened to have a doctor’s appointment to get feedback about the MRI of my hip. The doctor told me I shouldn’t do any exercise. Bummer. That was a monkey wrench I wasn’t ready for. I got out of the habit of doing regular social media posts about my routines after that and never got back into it. My routines weren’t “perfect” either as I threw them together right before the cycle started. Like, for example, I threw studying Chinese into my routine when I previously told myself I was done studying Chinese (I totally forgot that I told myself that!)

Most of my morning routines stuck until the end of the 108 though (most notable meditation and journaling). I also picked up some podcasting equipment and got a few episodes uploaded.

This 108 was really a recovery 108 from the manic episode I had last year (Cycle 5). I didn’t really do anything the two cycles after that one (Cycle 6 and 7) because I was in a depressed. I’m actually really excited about this next cycle because I feel like I’m finally picking up from where I left off on Cycle 4. It was during Cycle 4 that I decided to stop working on BeingBipolar and focus on Flow to Your Dream. Then Cycle 5 happened (manic episode) and it took me to the end of Cycle 8 to be fully recovered.

Oh! I almost forgot. We had to move during this cycle and we didn’t finish moving until the day before day 108. I essentially transitioned to “move mind” about 30 days before the end of the 108 because we had a lot of things to sort through and then we had 2 weeks to do the move.

Alright… a quick point-by-point breakdown. Something new I did at the start of this 108 was calling it “Dream+Flow” instead of “Plan”. Then I listed the things I wanted to accomplish along with the “Flow” (process) for doing them.

Dream: Don’t Crazy

Flow: Meditate daily, Journal daily, Track mood

I was successful in not being crazy and I’m sure daily meditation and journaling were a really helpful component to that. My mood tracking fell off because it was attached to a bedtime routine that eventually became nonexistent, but the journaling and meditation persisted throughout the entire 108.

Dream: Weigh 88kg

Flow: Intermittent fasting a minimum of 16 hours, Exercise M to F, Weigh myself daily

I really stuck to my guns on the intermittent fasting and exercise until after I got out of quarantine and got the news about my hip. I really like intermittent fasting. I’ll be rolling that over to the next 108. I don’t have a scale right now, but the last time I weighed myself I was 91.8kg. I didn’t hit 88kg but I was closer to that than the 97kg I started with.

Dream: Create a Mini Dream+Flow Course

Flow: Spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day M to F

While I did end up writing a first draft for a Flow to Your Dream book, I think the 30 minutes a day ended up being focused on self reflection. I have a lot of reflecting to do in response to all of the thoughts and feelings that came up during Cycle 5. I’ll be revisiting those during the next 108.

Something worth mentioning here is that after I made the move upstairs I decided not to bring out all of the “Casey Abbott Payne” artifacts. These are things like statues and necklaces. When I was struggling to let go of miltownkid I “made up” Casey Abbott Payne. I essentially had to swap one persona for another one. After moving I decided I wanted to “retire” Casey Abbott Payne as well (the persona version). It’s funny because I feel like I kind of have a “blank slate” in terms of “who I am”. I’ll definitely be spending the next 108 days thinking about that.

Now it’s time to start working on the “Dream+Flow” for Cycle 9!

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